When you have spent the past three weeks practically devoid of friends, watching hong kong television dramas like it was your religion (even though I can only partly understand them), running for Air Condition whereever it can be found (which is not very much as the Chinese actually believe in conserving energy(wtf is that?)), and reading every single entry of The Company Bitch from the beginning of August 2005 by sneaking online at the Law Office which I "work at" (I'll explain later), blogging becomes your best friend (as well as writing long and grammatically incorrect sentences).
Especially when internet has just been installed in the small, cramped, ultra miniature (the Chinese like it that way) apartment in which I live.
Anyways, as I was walking around waiting for my cousin to finish watching her crazy Hong Kong pop singers on the internet, i decided to have a quick chat with my aunt who was watching something completely of the contrary on TV.
Scene: Some D- American movie no one in America has probably ever heard of that could only find its profit by promoting it internationally to foreign middle aged Chinese women, who have no idea what the content of the movie is about but would rather stare at the funny looking white people and listen to them mutter English.
Our main actor is some Midwestern Heath Ledger look alike in a cowboy hat, tight jeans and a plaid button-up sleeveless shirtdriving his beat up 1992 Chevy around the bend of a dirt mountain to his farmer ranch complete with more rusty pickups and other, but far more older and uglier, cowboys. Heath Ledger look-alikeseems to have a really concerned look on his face as it seems that the ranch is about to be under extreme turmoil and all the ugly farmers will probably die.
Aunt "Ying, is this what America is like? Are there alot of these there?" as she points towards the ugly cowboys.
Me "Umm... Yeah well everyone is white if that what you mean." She couldn't seriously be asking me if I lived in a world of ugly cowboys and tacky leather boots.
Aunt "Well I mean do they all look like that? And does your city look like this too?" Wow my aunt thinks that i raise cattle in Texas because i live in America.
I want to tell her my city is very suburban-like and modern, but again my horrible Chinese, or lack of Chinese leaves me unable to translate these terms to Cantonese. Quickly I panic on how to convince my aunt that America isn't just cow pastures and red barns, but a land of democracy, freedom, and better dressed white people (well sometimes), but suddenly, I stop myself.
"Um yeah i guess you could say that."
14 years of being raised in America doesnt mean im an american!
I am chinese even if it takes 2 and a half months for me to realize.
(this ending was not because i wanted to bash on my american patriot readers, it was just written because i really couldnt think of any way else to end)
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Despite the gloominess(or is it gloom? ahh i dont remember english) of my last entry I really have found Hong Kong to be pretty fun.
Despite the opinions of my Chinese homes in the homeland, I have found that being surrounded by people that have the same exact slanty eyes, flat face and dark hair as me to be actually quite more comfortable than the blonde hair fakely tanned hollister bitches of florida.
Something that has really quite amused me is the fact that my name is actually popular in Hong Kong. Note my conversation with my lifelong Asian friend:
me "So wait WHAT other people like actually have my name too?"
lifelong asian friend "yeah... its quite common"
me "Wait. so other people REALLY have my name for real!?!?"
laf "yeah"
she gives me the shut-up-why-the-hell-are-we-talking-about-this look.
I look around at the other asian people walking by, begin to like the fact that there could be a possible Ying walking right past me, and i am undeterred. "so like if you turned my name into like an American name what would be the equivalent? Like would I be like a Caitlin or Ashley, or would I be like a Claire or Sara? OR WAIT FUCK tell me I'm not like an Esther or Fran or anything like that!"
laf "Um I don't think you can really convert your name to English like that"
"Okay fine. Then how would you rate it on a popularity level? Am I like a 70 percent or am I only like a 10 percent?"
My friend continues to stare at me like I am crazy.
But seriously when you have spent the past 17 years of your life having idiot white people question everysingle aspect of your strange asian name, from "Ying Lo? How do you spell that?" to "Y-I-N-G L-O, how do you pronounce that?" you will understand my amazement.
Despite the opinions of my Chinese homes in the homeland, I have found that being surrounded by people that have the same exact slanty eyes, flat face and dark hair as me to be actually quite more comfortable than the blonde hair fakely tanned hollister bitches of florida.
Something that has really quite amused me is the fact that my name is actually popular in Hong Kong. Note my conversation with my lifelong Asian friend:
me "So wait WHAT other people like actually have my name too?"
lifelong asian friend "yeah... its quite common"
me "Wait. so other people REALLY have my name for real!?!?"
laf "yeah"
she gives me the shut-up-why-the-hell-are-we-talking-about-this look.
I look around at the other asian people walking by, begin to like the fact that there could be a possible Ying walking right past me, and i am undeterred. "so like if you turned my name into like an American name what would be the equivalent? Like would I be like a Caitlin or Ashley, or would I be like a Claire or Sara? OR WAIT FUCK tell me I'm not like an Esther or Fran or anything like that!"
laf "Um I don't think you can really convert your name to English like that"
"Okay fine. Then how would you rate it on a popularity level? Am I like a 70 percent or am I only like a 10 percent?"
My friend continues to stare at me like I am crazy.
But seriously when you have spent the past 17 years of your life having idiot white people question everysingle aspect of your strange asian name, from "Ying Lo? How do you spell that?" to "Y-I-N-G L-O, how do you pronounce that?" you will understand my amazement.
For the past 18 days I have spent my life in a tiny country(?i dont even know what the hell this is) halfway across the world in a place you could call Hong Kong.
Life has been pretty great and I am relieved to have left my past troubles in the states, which I may again add, seem to be halfway across the world.
However going to your place of origin after being reared, fed and raised in steroid injected America also has its issues. Therefore for the past 18 days, which really feels like 18 months, I've received thousands of comments regarding my height, appearance, accent, fat and pretty much every single other superficial factor you can ponder.
Here are some examples:
"You don't look like you are from Hong Kong. Are you from another country?" FYI blog readers I am 100% Chinese. How the fuck do I look like I am from out of town??
"Don't worry its just baby fat." uhhh thanks I feel much more relieved now.
"You look strong." If there's something worse than telling someone she's big is to sugar coat it by telling them they are "strong."
"You are big!" But telling someone that they are big still sucks.
"Its not that you don't look Chinese, it's that you speak Chinese like an American." My first reaction is to casually laugh this comment off while I forcibly remind myself never to reveal the fact that Chinese is my first language, I've spoken it longer than English, and continue to speak the language daily in my household. With some multimillion Chinese poeople in Hong Kong, and only 1 in some 90 odd Asian being white, and the white person usually being some sunburnt British tourist, my second reaction is how the fuck do they know what an American Chinese accent sounds like and much less, an American that can speak Chinese?
"Are you really Chinese? Because you look Korean." How the hell can you tell the difference and what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Note to reader: All these quotes were spoken to me in Chinese. But heres my favorite quote which came from many street vendors, not even acknowledging the fact that I am chinese much less take the time to speak to me in the language.
"You likey? You buy many sherts ony fo' five dollas."
Hmm. If I can't even feel at home in my birthplace, where am I to go now????
Life has been pretty great and I am relieved to have left my past troubles in the states, which I may again add, seem to be halfway across the world.
However going to your place of origin after being reared, fed and raised in steroid injected America also has its issues. Therefore for the past 18 days, which really feels like 18 months, I've received thousands of comments regarding my height, appearance, accent, fat and pretty much every single other superficial factor you can ponder.
Here are some examples:
"You don't look like you are from Hong Kong. Are you from another country?" FYI blog readers I am 100% Chinese. How the fuck do I look like I am from out of town??
"Don't worry its just baby fat." uhhh thanks I feel much more relieved now.
"You look strong." If there's something worse than telling someone she's big is to sugar coat it by telling them they are "strong."
"You are big!" But telling someone that they are big still sucks.
"Its not that you don't look Chinese, it's that you speak Chinese like an American." My first reaction is to casually laugh this comment off while I forcibly remind myself never to reveal the fact that Chinese is my first language, I've spoken it longer than English, and continue to speak the language daily in my household. With some multimillion Chinese poeople in Hong Kong, and only 1 in some 90 odd Asian being white, and the white person usually being some sunburnt British tourist, my second reaction is how the fuck do they know what an American Chinese accent sounds like and much less, an American that can speak Chinese?
"Are you really Chinese? Because you look Korean." How the hell can you tell the difference and what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Note to reader: All these quotes were spoken to me in Chinese. But heres my favorite quote which came from many street vendors, not even acknowledging the fact that I am chinese much less take the time to speak to me in the language.
"You likey? You buy many sherts ony fo' five dollas."
Hmm. If I can't even feel at home in my birthplace, where am I to go now????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)